My name is Jake, I am in search of one lone, extra NYE ticket. GA, stands, I don't care I just really want to go to New Years this year.
I know this is hard to come by and no body really wants to give up their ticket for some cash....but hear me out.....I mean you read this much, you might as well read the rest...
I've been seeing/listening to Phish since 2001. I was 11 when my brother gave me Junta. My first show was in July 30th 2003, Camden N.J. I was 12, my brother Alex took me. That was the first time I had seen or smelled anything like that show. I remember the lonesome cowboy bill and you aint goin no where, pretty cool because they were rarities for a young phish phan like me; there was an epic 23 minute twist and nice YEM that I geeked about for years. It was the best time of my life. I later found out they played Spock's Brain, don't know how many more times I will see that one but I can say I got it in there somewhere.
So the band broke up yada yada, my brothers went to coventry, I didn't, I heard all the stories and thought the band was done (as a result when high school came around I was going to see the disco biscuits.....dark times.....). But when Phish came back and I was doing back flips through my school's hallways, I was filled with ecstasy (and not from the biscuit shows!). There was no getting back on the train for me because I never got off. I missed the Hampton shows but made sure to catch all the Camden and Philadelphia shows since they got back. I went down to maryweather and camped out, not the night that everyone got busted; volunteered at superball and I lost my mind at both rounds of phish dick's.
I'm not trying to sound like a little pretentious, snot-nosed piece of shit, this is me saying, "hey, you should know that you are selling your ticket to someone who will fully appreciate and understand how monumental that seventy some dollar piece of laminated index paper is." This ticket is much more than a bar code, seat number: notwhatyouwerehopingfor and row number: whogivesafuck. Its a gateway to the exact experience a now 22 year old college student could ask for; to be watching his favorite band on the most incredible night of the year with his best friends.
But as a result of being a 22 year old college student, I have never gotten on the ball quick enough to get New Year's tickets. Somewhere between hope and foolishness is where I justify never getting tickets on time.
So this is where you come into play kind stranger. Please....I'm on my internet knees here....if you have one extra NYE ticket or you know someone who is trying to get rid of theirs, please email me and I will gladly purchase that ticket. At first this was a, "oh I will find a ticket." now this is a, "oh shit I might not go to new years again."
Please make a long time phan's dreams come true. I need a miracle on this one. There I said it. My cold, straggly, Caucasian finger is swaying lifelessly in the air and I'm beggin' for a miracle!
I will give you cash for your ticket, or if you are ever in Colorado I could trade you something here. I will be going to Furthur broomfield (not really hot shit but hey it's something) I could get you a ticket. If you ever come through Colorado and need a personal hiking or climbing guide, I can do that!
What's your favorite dish? I'm not gonna cook it but I'll order it from Zanzibar!
Unless your favorite dish is eggplant parm, I make-a-mean-a-egg-a-plant-a-parm!
LITERALLY, just let me know what it will take to walk into Madison Square Garden with the ticket you have or know of.
I hope after reading this, kind soul, you will shoot me an email, if not, well, hey, thanks for reading this, I hope it provided a good laugh and maybe sparked a memory or two.
Gratefully, Your Phriend,